More and more film-watching 2006 (6)

*Mammoth post warning*

Since my movie binging days are far from over, here’s another post reviewing half of my past month’s batch in descending order of admiration. The batch includes Schindler’s List, V for Vendetta, Pulp Fiction, The Constant Gardener, Mr and Mrs Smith, Good Will Hunting, Run Lola Run, Syriana, United 93 and The Interpreter

What follows is not the usual analytical thesis that I subject my readers to (however few you are out there, I really should say this — I love you guys and thanks for bearing whatever I write here), and have boiled it down to only the most praise-worthy and cuss-worthy aspects of every movie.

The one-line summaries are lifted from imdb.com as they get their point made about the plot like no other (which really is another way of saying that I suck at summary-writing and can’t be bothered about writing a synopsis myself).

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna: The review

Still interested in reading more about this year’s biggest pretence in the name of maturing cinema?

Omkara

Omkara: ***

I have never read any Shakespeare, and whatever little criminally abridged pieces that had found their way into my school’s English curriculum, have been forgotten. Yes you can read that last sentence again, gape out loud, widen your eyes and fall from your chair. But today, after watching Omkara, it really will be the second time in my life that I felt smug for missing out on a body of work that’s considered universally to be the “ultimate” in drama and literature. (the first time being, if you still are as dimwit to not guess, when I had watched Maqbool 2 years back). Just as the end-credits started to roll, I just couldn’t get this thought out of my head that if I had known the climax way before, I just wouldn’t have bothered with even writing this review. The number of freewheeling shockers jam-packed in the final ten minutes of the movie just wouldn’t have had that impact that (I am so thankful to my ignorance) they had.

But mincing no words now, I have to admit that I was disappointed with Omkara. With a plot pregnant with far far more drama than Maqbool, it simply didn’t have the intensity or the power of the latter. Save for the last ten minutes, when the rein from the bland characters finally passes on to the actual plot which helps it end on an above-average note, the film’s got mediocre written all over it. And that’s not because it settles for anything mediocre but because it always somehow manages to mix something superb with something very ghastly, and the bar, as a consequence, ends up raising only halfway.

Much of the damage for me came from the actors. In a tale that pivots on the central love story, sparks simply fail to fly even when the camera longedly follows Dolly (Kareena’s character) running after Omkara (Devgan) in that supposed-to-be-cutey-and-teasy scene or even when Devgan is furiously necking and pecking the Kapoor lass beneath the covers. When one has a storyline with beaten to death sequences of running away with one’s lover much to one’s family’s disdain, its upto the actors to rise above the banal and deliver. While Devgan does try valiantly to look lovestruck with his beady eyes, Kareena’s just so awfully controlled and held-back, she ends up looking quite uncomfortable and out-of-place. This when really all she had to do was little more than what she did in Refugee–do the simpleton act with a dash of charm.
Both the actors pitch in awfully calculative performances, consistently oblivious to their respective characters’ spirits, and because you are never quite convinced of the characters they are playing and their feelings for each other, right from the onset you care way too less than you should about the aftermath of Omkara’s henchman plotting against his cohort using Omkara’s love as a mere tool. Still, surprisingly enough, somehow both of these performers somehow get their act together in the scene that mattered–the climax. Its about 120 minutes too late to feel for them, but the director’s really given his all to those final fifteen minutes and ends up being successful in squeezing some sympathy from cynical watchers like me for the unpredictable and shockingly brutal end to Omkara’s love story.

It must also be said that there actually are a few things which rival the boredom of watching a whole episode of Bhabhi on Star Plus. One of those is watching Bipasha Basu do a whole 7 minute jhatak-matak dance routine. And to actually survive through two such full-length songs where we have to bear her giving the whole set of adayein complete with nain-matakka from her squint is really so bad, its funny. The girl, with due respect to her miniscule acting talent, is blatantly miscast here and absolutely thanda as the UP nautch girl Billo.

Saving the day from the aforementioned three performers are the next three lead performers who bring in some credibility to the whole set-up. Konkona Sen Sharma is totally identifiable and just downright adorable as Devgan’s sister, Indu. Right from her dialect to her lived-in maternal affection for everyone around her, she’s just right. Not a single wrong note here or there, she really brings a broad smile everytime she holds the chin of the distressed characters around her and utters “hansi badi mehengi ho gayi hai aaj kal” . Thankfully, as the second half draws to a close, her character’s scope becomes bigger and bigger until the spotlight shines solely on her and Konkona’s all too glad to oblige us with some well-felt theatrics. This is the stuff real performances are made of and I am so glad that even in the company of mainstream heavyweights, Konkona’s given enough screentime to leave a lasting impression.

And then there’s Saif, who’s surprisingly convincing as Langda Tyagi. From his hilarious, expletive-filled opening sequence to the slimier-by-every-successive minute routine where he’s supposed to bitch and plot and bitch and plot and bitch some more of how Dolly’s dating Kesu Firangi, how Kesu Firangi gifted the bejeweled waistband from Omkara’s heirloom to Billo and so on and so forth, Saif pulls it off with laudable ease. Though you have seen it all in the form of Pallavis and Mandiras in saas-bahu serials, still its reasonably entertaining watching this despicable character use reverse psychology and perfect timing of letting the wrong people hear the right thing in the wrong way to his own advantage. The havoc that just this one character creates would have carried far more punch if, as I said before, I was affected by how deeply the two protagonists (Omkara and Dolly) were affected. Instead, its the collateral damage on Kesu’s and Billo’s relationship thanks to Langda again that is far more sincere even with one tenth the screentime that Vivek Oberoi [consistently enthusiastic] gets with Bipasha.

The trend of mixing something worth lauding with something worth moaning about continues behind the camera as well. While placing a Shakespeare play in the heart of small-time crook infested UP has been done as deftly as one would expect of Mr Bhardwaj (quite unlike others, being a UPite from birth, all those dialects, jokes and expletives really hit home with me), the fact that the politics and action sit very clumsily in the screenplay (atleast to me, the magnitude of Omkara’s strengths and power came across as very vague and rushed), the central love story doesn’t have its moments and things really never warm up in the first half, it does take away a lot.

While the decidedly fresh and earthy soundtrack had gems like “Namak Ishq Ka”, “O Saathi Re”, “Sabse Bade Ladaiya Re” and “Naina Thag Lenge” which literally smelt of a remote Uttar Pradesh kasba (for want of better expression) right from their sound to their lyrics, the fact that my favourite, “Naina Thag Lenge” is used way too carelessly in the movie (as a background score to Kareena’s courtship with Devgan five minutes into the movie and it doesn’t work as the mournful suggestions of suspicion and mistrust are way too early and uncalled for) and that two full-length dance routines have the most bland picturisation ever (thanks to Ms Basu), I hold a gripe here as well.

Even the cinematographer is up playing tricks with the viewer feeding our eyes with reels on reels of unstimulating imagery until the climax *SPOILER ALERT* when a lone camera capturing a newly wed bride swinging dead above the dead groom on the floor has a shock value that’s way higher on the Richter scale than the whole film combined.

To sum it all, I haven’t lost faith in the film-making skill of Vishal Bharadwaj and I sincerely hope he continues to adapt more Shakespeare plays, but doesn’t miscast the way he has with Omkara. Yes, there are emotions running the entire length of the movie, but they are nowhere quite as deep as they should have been. There’s this nagging unshruggable feeling that something really is amiss this time around and surprisingly enough its got nothing to do with the excellent plot.

Still, the film’s worth a watch once for its intricate storyline (a rarity in our films nowadays), for watching Saif and Konkona perform and for a genuinely good climactic half an hour.

Pirates of the Caribbean fest!

Yes, I am a sucker for everything that falls under Hollywood blockbuster category. Sure enough, its feasting time with yet another comeback of a stupendously successful franchise. A franchise that somehow eluded my watching resume for one reason or another. But with time finally on hand, I made it a point to finally watch this Disney extravaganza back to back (regardless of the fact that the first movie was a downright pain). And this is what I think of them.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003): **

Let’s get this straight at the very start–this movie is a bore and a big, fat one at that. And for me this is all that matters. All the creative intelligence and technical wizardry be rubbished, if its a story not well told, a story that fails to elicit any response, then for me that film just isn’t worth watching. And this first Pirates movie is just that. Gore Verbinski just isn’t able to infuse any life into the characters. Yes, he’s crippled by a plot that’s way too complex for its own good but given that this is supposed to be an intro to the world of supernatural Caribbean piracy and an English Royal family, the setting just doesn’t have enough build-up or interactions to be convincing.

The action starts head-on with a pirate called Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) arriving at the Jamaican port, incidentally rescuing governor’s daughter Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) who has two secret admirers– the local blacksmith (Orlando Bloom) and Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport). An argument or so later with Commodore, Jack’s put away in the gallows as the port is invaded by a ghost ship called Black Pearl. Now Black Pearl is a vessel crewed by a huge bunch of “undead” hoodlums who are apparently under this weird curse of remaining undead until every single gold medallion is returned to a chest they stole and spent from years back. That and a small blood sacrifice from every thief. Now the twist in the tale is that while abducting and looting the port, they capture Elizabeth (who has that last medallion they need thanks to a chance encounter she had with Orlando Bloom when the latter was found stranded at sea. Bloom’s father, Bootstrap, was one of the pirates who, angered by his crew’s disobedience to the cursed treasure, posted the medallion to his son back then). And then there is another thread of Jack Sparrow also being the captain of the Black Pearl who was mutinied back then and marooned on an island.

Believe me, there’s nothing more unexciting an exercise than sitting for a good two and a half hours only to get answers to questions like “Is the curse finally broken?”, “Does Jack Sparrow get his due?”, “Do Elizabeth and the blacksmith get together?”. For the only question that really matters is “Do I care?”. And I really don’t. The undead pirates might as well have skinned Elizabeth alive and burnt the blacksmith at stake and probably that would have stopped my head from bobbing with sleep.

One look at the length and clearly Disney’s tried their hand at creating their own LOTR. But one really wonders where all the production money really went. For alongwith bland direction of a convoluted story, the film is far from breaking any ground in terms of shot-taking, cinematography, acoustics, action or even dialogues. The swordfights are unforgivably repetitive and absolutely unimaginative. And to talk about how the people in this film talk would probably even make Virginia Woolf wince in her grave. From the first to the last scene, everyone is vexed, peeved, miffed–I mean its really tiring to see the actors go through the motions of fighting and pouting some gibberish about rum and cursed coins with a single expression. Oh, and it all ends the Bollywood way. That and there’s something disastrously wrong with Keira Knigtley’s teeth which makes her more of a scathing witch than the petite princess she ought to be.

So, in this whole fake dark cloud, thankfully the silver linings just about refrain you from breaking the DVD in two. Johnny Depp for once. The guy is an absolute riot as the flamboyant (read almost feminine) and smooth-talking pirate. That is, until he’s painted with the same pale colour that most of the film’s coloured in. Him and the one scene where Elizabeth drops off the edge of a castle into the sea thanks to her overtly tight corset just as the Commodore Norrington is proposing to her are very funny. Sadly, the film isn’t. Infact I don’t even know what this film is. There simply isn’t a sense of surprise, dread, menace, urgency or anything.

Power to all of you who love this tripe and have made it a blockbuster that it is. For me it just didn’t work.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006):***

Ah! Now this is more like it. Its almost as if one fine day a child discovers that the showpieces in his living room are indeed the best toys. Yes, Verbinski and his team finally have some fun with the savourless characters that populated the dead-beet of a first film. Much to my relief and everyone’s mirth. Forget the sequel curse, this is a boon on the lines of Shrek 2 and Spiderman 2. Almost everyone get their act straight and finally are up for some play.

Though, for some bizarre reason, the script and the screenplay writers are still way too uptight about doing away with the unnecessarily numerous subplots which means the film is still awkwardly dense and long. The only respite being the fact that it is this way only sometimes.

Elizabeth and Will Turner are arrested by the new Lord from the East India company on the day of their wedding for aiding in the rescue of a pirate like Jack Sparrow from his execution (picking up where the last film left off). A deal is struck to abate the discomfort if Will is able to bring Jack’s “broken” compass.

Meanwhile Jack has an old debt to settle with another legendary captain (Davy Jones) of yet another ghostly ship (Flying Dutchman) for reviving Jack’s Black Pearl. The captain has his heart stowed away in a remote island in a chest (the same one that gives the film its title) and Jack must find a key to that. And then there’s also a thread about Will Turner’s father, Bootstrap, meeting again with his son Will. And even Elizabeth is ready to take some matters in her own hands if she wants to rescue Will. And so abounds another epic of alliances, duels, secrets, curses, chases and swordfights.

Yes, its way too complicated for its own good but somehow everyone’s in a lighter mood and it more or less ends up pieced almost together by the time the end credits roll.

Just like her blouses which have a newfound depth, Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth’s swashbuckling incarnate is pure eye candy. To see the lady do more than drape herself in bustle-n-crinoline skirts and exaggerated sleeves is quite a pretty sight and thankfully she’s used the right dental floss (pardon the sudden change in my critique of the girl’s aesthetic anatomy but this is supposed to be a follow-up comment from the review of POTC 1). Her scenes with Depp’s Jack Sparrow are crackling with a visible chemistry and thankfully, there is enough screentime given to the main characters alongwith her to finally bother you with what’s happening to them.

Johnny Depp is an absolute hoot as Captain Jack Sparrow. He has the best lines and he has them all through. All the comic sequences are written around him and they become ten times funnier with Jack’s drunken gait and his now inimitable verbal gymnastics. Be it the time when he’s enjoying every bit of the reverance from a superstitous tribe (or when he’s running from them), or when he’s in a three-way duel with Will and Norrington or just generally uttering lines like “Oh bugger”, he’s just howlarious. And you know you root for him just a moment before he’s about to enter the mouth of a giant octopus-like sea creature called Kraken shouting “Hello, beastie”. If at all this movie is remembered ten years from now, it’ll be for Depp’s no-holds-barred spirited performance.

Orlando Bloom does the stereotypical hunk act with elan and understatement. Which leaves me a bit clueless on the ubiquitous Orlando-bashing. Two other things which the makers get right this time around is dialogue and SFX. There’s humour galore and the special effects are in the league of King Kong (sometimes, even suspiciously inspired–esp the tribal scenes and the giant Kraken’s mouth). Though the menacing Flying Dutchman and its barnacled, tentacled crew really are originals, and quite excellent ones at that. Hans Zimmer’s score finally makes its presence felt too and just as a compliment to some breathtaking cinematography, the opening scene where we see a drenched bridal Elizabeth sitting amidst a courtyard full of dining tables, chairs, cups, saucers which are getting carelessly splattered by rain is haunting.

There are still elements which just don’t quite sit comfortably together (you still don’t know how seriously to take the characters in this utter tosh for Verbinski’s handling of drama still remains quite bland and archaic). So there’s none of that freewheeling epic feel that Lord of the Rings has but at Disney they are hellbent on proving otherwise. They are successful to some extent in this grandiose sequel which has had me intrigued what the final film in the trilogy will have on offer next year.

But till then, you can have a bite at this enjoyable fare which has enough wham-bam, physical slapstick and self-deprecating one-liners to see you through the sometimes dragging plot.

Back to more film-watching 2006 (5)

Yes, I am back to what I do on this blog. Reviewing movies. For a change, all three movies below were experimental, fresh in one way or the other and each one of these had a powerhouse performance by a female artiste.

Garden State (2004): ****

I can’t remember the last time I did not cringe when one of the lovers went through a heart change towards the climax and finally did the inevitable kiss as the credits waited to roll. One of those generic things that’s written in stone as a formula for the perfect romcom, in Garden State, it comes across so convincingly that it leaves you all warm and fuzzy. And that’s because the film does what is actually quite a rare sight- capturing every moment of companionship with absolute honesty. No matter how flawed and over-written it remains in places, its the masterful romance at the film’s heart that haunts you long after the film’s over. Chronicling the life of a troubled twentysomething TV actor in LA, who comes home to Garden State for his mother’s funeral, the movie follows him as he meets up with his acquaintances and chances upon the quirky girl-next-door Sam while waiting outside a neurologist’s clinic. Funnily enough, Sam’s a motormouth with a gift to lie for no apparent reason. How slowly their relationship blossoms and their realisation of how right they are for each other is the stuff great romances are made of. Replace great with real-life in the last sentence and you’ll know the inspiration for all my ga-ga over this movie.Garden State wouldn’t be anywhere as good as it is had Natalie Portman, Zach Braff and Peter Sarsgaard didn’t perform the way they have. Portman is an actress to behold. Seldom do you get to see such self-aware characters played so uninhibitedly that they become a real blast to watch. Quoting her one line which really hit home with me bigtime: “OK, so… so… sometimes I lie. I mean, I’m weird, man. About random stuff too, I don’t even know why I do it. It’s like… it’s like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, Wow, that wasn’t even remotely true”. And the character’s always mouthing such refreshingly real lines, and you just can’t help but fall in love with Sam. When she’s not busy lying or accusing herself of ruining some moment or wondering if Braff’s character is totally freaked out with her, she’s doing this cute and weird stuff like standing all of a sudden in her room and do these funny actions and noises (according to her, she’s creating an “original moment”). And though Sam looks forward to a good cry by laughing more on the life’s ironies, you secretly wish that she doesn’t. I can’t remember the last time (yes, this is the second time I am saying this in a review) I have cared so much for a character.

And then there’s the little master Zach Braff, who trebles here as the actor, writer and director. And for someone who’s accustomed to his over-the-top slapstick in Scrubs, his underplay in Garden State is genuinely surprising. Nonetheless, it is this very subtlity that lends immense poignance and dignity to the film’s energy. Cossetted inside the quitely troubled Andrew Largeman, the protagonist, its a performance standing on meaningful glances and commonplace lines delivered the way only a collected, deeply perceptive actor can manage. The film’s pure magic when he’s sharing the space with Portman’s Sam and their heart-to-hearts are so spontaneous and bereft of cheese, you practically wince in your couch the time when Braff decides to sort his life out and leaves Portman stranded on the airport (and no this isn’t the end).

As a second lead, Peter Sarsgaard, like a true blue thesp at his craft, manages to do his badmouthing, soft-hearted chum routine with a charm and deadpan style that’s sure to make you grin. His part is a tad over-written in the initial reels with scenes like Braff’s meeting with his old buddies stretched for no reason (or so it appears on the first viewing), but still in such a charming film, these are minor glitches you learn to like on subsequent viewings. Likewise Braff’s relationship with his psychologist cum dad doesn’t really strike the right note (that, or because its such a dysfunctional one that the lack of any seeking-out-to-each-other is deliberate).

The word note reminds me of the film’s fantabulous soundtrack that’s choc-a-block with one lilting pop ditty on another. Braff’s cherry picked some of the most moving and lyrically sound contemporary tracks and tunes and used them to splendid effect.

On the whole, even though people like to remember Garden State as a superb chronicle of a twentysomething’s angst, for me its a cheerful little tale of how uplifting true love can be. Sunshine stuff!

Closer (2004): ***

The Graduate’s director makes a comeback with this decidedly pessimistic whine-a-thon on relationships in the new millenium. By the end of it all, two of the four lead people have cheated on their partners, one of them has manipulated his partner back with him and the remaining one is revealed to have gone through the whole drama of being loved and dumped under a pseudonym. Save for two-three minor scenes, the film’s obsessed with amplifying the worst in every character which does make for an occasional uncomfortable (but interesting) viewing.

A minor road-accident acts as a starting point for a London-based obituary writer Dan (Jude Law) and an American stripper Alice (Natalie Portman). The dormant writer in Dan finally finds in Alice a muse for his first book. One year on–they are a couple but Dan starts to randomly flirt and then have a serious affair with Anna (Julia Roberts), his photographer. In some weird mindframe, an year later, Dan enters a cybersex chatroom pretending to be this hot babe called Anna, making a doc (Clive Owen) literally wet in his pants (yea, I know you got it) and alluring him into meeting at the London Aquarium. Little realising that he played the perfect cupid for the doc (Larry) and the real Anna. Anna and Larry become a couple, but not without Anna secretly dating Dan. The scene is set for some serious, expletive-filled showdowns. And the spoils are for everyone to live with.

In this cyber age when we are bombarded with people ready for a no-strings-attached physical relationships and one night stands, monogamy does seem a suffocating concept. To add to the fun, there’s always the one-look-and-you-are-wiped-off-your-feet kind of infatuation which, married or otherwise, just has to be answered to. So how the hell does one expect an institution like marriage to work? Its a brave statement to make, but Closer’s gung-ho about forcing this bitter syrup down your throat.

The characters are quite a mixed bag with Natalie Portman’s Alice having to do with the clunkiest of lines and a love-story with Jude Law’s Dan that even at its lightest moments feel rehearsed (which makes it quite a pain to sit through the time when they cry, scream and pout dialogues like “you don’t love me”). To give credit where its due, Portman does make a credible stripper and her interaction with Owen at the strip club is quite a sight. The true stars of the enterprise however are Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. Owen’s totally convincing as the self-confessed hypersexual Larry whose first concern when her wife reveals her extra-marital affair is whether the guy she’s dating is a good f*ck. This very scene where the husband and wife spit venom on each other is one of the best confrontational sequences I have seen in a film. Julia Roberts, as the depressive, confused wife Anna gives the film the only bit of warmth it has.

Its hard to take in anything positive from a film that resolves itself as cynically as Closer does. But in a weird reverse-psychologically-kind-of way watching so much going wrong does bore in two-or three things one ought to do right when in a relationship. Its also not a film that everyone’d easily take to (my friend who watched this with me halfway through pleaded me to see the DVD on my laptop and free up his TV) so watch this at your own risk.

PS: On a sidenote, I had always found the film’s publicity design to be quite something. After watching the movie I realised how misleading all that serenity and whiteness really was. The tagline “if you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking” still manages to sum up one of the themes succinctly though.
Hard Candy (2006): ***

I have lost count of the number of times I have found myself flipping through the newspaper pages, coming across some headline on the lines of “paedophile filming young girls jailed for 13 1/2 years” and then thinking out loud “these b*stards should all be made to stand in a line and have their balls slashed off”. And here is a film that goes straight after the balls of one such sexually depraved character. Yes, you can’t get more direct and literal than Hard Candy (web-slang term for an underage girl) which tells the story of a14 year old girl out on a daredevil mission to teach a fashion photographer cum web-chatting paedophile the lesson of his life by castrating him with a pack of ice (as local anaesthesia for the genitalia), some sharp instruments, cotton bandage and her untrained hands. The whys and the hows of this girl’s actions never quite filter through convincingly (read this as “are not bothered to explain”) which means that within 30 minutes she descends from an unusually brave girl to a sociopath in your eyes, and there really does come a point when you are forced to think where exactly your loyalties lie. With this horrendously sicko teenager or the now-suffering paedophile. Just for this intelligent and seldom used style of manipulation, Hard Candy deserves a pat.

This, plus the fact that its made with such queasily close shots of characters (more like demons) and some amazingly unpredictable sequences–you’ll wince and twitch to the point of even wondering why you spent your money on the ticket. As a debut work by a music video director, a hell lot of suggestive imagery and sounds are used to mess up with your mind and one look at the performances by the leading two actors and you know this man is talented. The actors playing the two principal characters (Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson) might be lesser known, but deliver gut-wrenchingly real and nuanced performances. The camera loves them to the point of never leaving their visages for a single second and despite that, the experience of watching these two monsters interact for a good two hours is quite overwhelming. More than half of film’s tension and unpredictability is thanks to Page’s ability to do a split-second whirlwind in her voice and expressions. And Wilson’s character graph is so masterfully done up that you’ll be finding yourself changing your opinion more than once every thirty minutes. Kudos to this actor for bringing up every single layer of his character’s vulnerability and deception to the surface. Add to all this the crackling dialogues throughout.

And yet, its not quite the ultimate movie as somewhere down the lane you realise that its actually too much of the same thing after a good one hour. Its different and its shocking yes, but the second half and the climax do a grave disservice to Wilson’s character. His giving in to Page’s threats about exposing him to his girlfriend is a tad quick and quite out-of-sync with his ultra-cautious and hideous nature. The castration scene is one brilliant sequence alright but there’s a twist immediately after that which kind of ruined it a bit for me. And as there really never was any buildup plus the attempt to explain the motivation for such extreme action by Page’s character isn’t convincing enough, after a point of time you detach quite easily from the characters. Which is always a bad thing.

Still, give it a try if you are hunting for something experimental and uncomfortable with some sensational acting.

Until my next batch of reviews, ciao!